Sunday, July 26, 2009

STOP!



One month from today my kids go back to school.

I'm not ready!

Summer just started.

They're growing up too fast.

My oldest (13) left for Boy Scout summer camp this morning. He never looked back.

My youngest, (almost 11) won't hold my hand in public anymore.

This mama's heart breaks over the passage of time.

A week ago I turned 48.

I look in the mirror and hardly recognize the face staring back at me.

It scares me how fast time is going.

I want it to stop. I want to hold my babies and know our future is ahead of us, that we have all the time in the world to chase fireflies, do belly flops at the pool, and to skip down the street hand in hand.

But time doesn't stand still.

My oldest is so strong, independent, confident and comfortable in his skin.

My youngest is hilarious, adorable, scary smart. The President of his school's student government for God's sake!

My role in their lives is changing.

My husband, their father, is their parent of choice these days.

Who does that make me?

What does that leave me?

What place will I have in their lives when they are gone?

I feel them slipping away............

And I am afraid.

39 comments:

tardevil said...

Oh, so sad...that he didn't even look back too. I would have boo-hooed! It does go by so fast, doesn't it. And to me, the school year goes by even faster. If you find a way to slow time down, let me know! I'm right there w/ ya'!

Maisy said...

I love this post. I feel the same way. Time is moving so fast. I always ask my little man if i can give him a pill that will keep him 6. He always says no. Sheesh, he wants to grow up...whats with that?
Thanks for this post!!!
Keep it real girl, keep it real!

Lamp Tramp said...

Yes, it's scary when they grow up. But they gotta do it, and we Moms just gotta accept it. We just pray for their health, happiness, security, and success in life.

Primitive & Proper said...

Don't be so sad! They will come back to you, and when they do they will be 2 of the best friends you ever had. Mine aren't old enough for me to speak from experience, but I see my brother and my mom and how close they are, and my husband and his mom talk almost every day like close friends do. This is just a phase in the process, but they'll come back to you! Just hang in there!

Tracey said...

It does go by way too fast! But don't be afraid, just love them, appreciate them, and help them to shine and you will always have a special place in their lives!

:) T

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. I worry my sons won't be in my life the way my daughters will be some day.

Embrace the moment. It's all we have.

McMaster and Storm said...

Should I try for a girl???? hee

I'm trying to enjoy every moment, but weeeee it goes fast!

Your boys love you---don't forget you feed them!

enjoy the rest of summer

kara + darcy too

Michelle said...

Oh....Bless your heart! I so can relate to everything you're feeling. I was thinking the same thing yesterday when we all went swimming! All too quickly, we'll be walking down the aisles watching our boys get married. I too am sad, but thanks be to God for the promise of eternity!

stacy di said...

I'm right there with ya dear. My kids are just a couple of years older than yours. It's really interesting how our roles in their lives change...it IS scary!

LuLu said...

This is really the first summer where I am just like the kids and don't want school to start. We are all in the pool groove and i love not worrying about homework. I too want time to stop and worry how things are changing as they get older. My 13 yr old hugs are not as long as they use to be and she is too so independant it feels like she doesn't need me.. ug being a parent is so darn hard!
xo
LuLu

Lamp Tramp said...

Hey Sweetie...thanks for your sweet comment. How are you doing ...with your little ones growing up too fast? I so understand!

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