Starboard or Port?

Just in case my ship comes in anytime soon my boys and I are enrolled in a nine hour boater safety course.   

We don't even own a boat.
Not a canoe.
Or a kayak a dinghy or a rowboat.  
We don't even have one of these:

But a girl should be prepared, just in case.   
I'm a simple girl, all I really want is one of these:  

(With cushions covered in India Hicks fabrics, of course!)

So, hopefully by Wednesday night at nine o'clock we'll be licensed to skipper our very own watercraft.  
And come on, if I get my license, I'm definitely going to need a boat, right?

(Provided I pass the test.)

Wish me luck...

Now, what side is starboard again??